Help others and Help Yourself

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Help Others--Help Yourself

Somebody once made the observation that the person who is wrapped up entirely in himself makes a very small package–and the package contains an unhappy person. Think about this: Have you ever known a genuinely happy, self-centered person?

Research indicates that those who consistently (help) show kindness to other people experience less depression, greater calm, fewer pains and better health. They may even live longer. Students who performed five acts of kindness a day increased their happiness and providing emotional support to others significantly decreased the harmful health effects of certain kinds of stress. [1]

Everyone knows the story of the Good Samaritan. It’s about being helpful and showing kindness to other people.  As Luke records it, Jesus told this parable in the context of a teacher of the law who, “wanting to justify himself,” asked Jesus, “Who is my neighbor?” Jesus confounds him by suggesting that God requires us to love our “neighbors” in a way that transcends ethnic boundaries. [2] (Luke 10:25-37) Sadly, we often fail to meet Jesus’ ideal of neighbor love.

“If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.”  Philippians 2:3-4 (The Message) [3]

When helping people, find out what’s actually valuable to them. Make an effort to ask them where they need help, and keep that in mind when you see an opportunity. And there are many opportunities to help others. Just don’t make it all about you.

The more you make helping others all about you, the more disappointed, dry and weary you’ll become. And the more you understand that this is about Jesus, and his kingdom, and his crown, and his glory, the more freed up you are to help others.

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? 1 John 3:16-20 (NIV)

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.  Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:3-4 (ESV)

Footnotes

1] liveyourlifewell.org │[2] [843 Acres] The Park Forum│[3] Philippians 2:3-4, The Message │  Photo Credit: sweetmusingsfromthecove.wordpress.com

 You may like this: HelpOthers.org — kindness is contagious. Welcome to a portal dedicated to small acts of kindness.

A Stumble and a Bumble

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Stumble and Bumble
She pulls open the bottom drawer of the dresser and searches for the “colorful bathing suit” to put on. The black and white swim suit will not do. It must be the colorful one. “Let’s go to the pool, Gigi!” Already at three years of age, she talks about being on a swim team one day.

Out the door she bounds…walking too fast, slightly unsteady on the top step. Down she goes! Thankfully there are only two wooden steps to stumble and bumble over, plus there was a thick carpet remnant on the concrete floor of the garage, a cushion for her forehead and nose. After a good cry, lots of hugs and comforting, I prayed with her and thanked God that she wasn’t hurt badly and especially for that cushion of carpet. While driving to the pool,  she said, “Gigi, I did a stumble and a bumble but I’m okay.”

Don’t we all stumble and bumble! And we all want to be okay.  We stumble with anger, anxiety, envy, resentment, self-pity, disgust, or frustration. We bumble through discouragement, lust, irritability, impatience, hard-heartedness, brusqueness, unkindness, or withdrawnness. [1] We hope for a cushion of carpet to break our fall.

And you know…we can be more than, “Okay.”

This is what we must do. We must read and know and think and believe that it is trusting in the blood of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit to cover the stumbling and conquer the bumbling. This is the only way we will be more than okay.

I read the book of Jude today. It’s not long…just 25 verses. Here is verse 24:

Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy.

How awesome is that?  One day I will stop stumbling and bumbling…but not today. John Piper is wise when he wrote, “Whether you are in your twenties or sixties, you probably have some long-standing heart-responses you don’t like. These are like reflexes. You don’t choose them. They spring up unintentionally from your heart, usually in response to the people around you. When any one of these attitudes springs up unbidden, you hate it. You have fought it for years with gospel-faithfulness, trusting in the blood of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit to cover it and conquer it. Still it returns. You weep over it, and ask your closest friends to pray for you. There is a short season of reprieve. And there it is again stamping you. Telling you: This is who you are. You say no. In Christ, this is not who I am. His stamp is on my life. True. But O you would be done with this! O to be new, through and through!” [2]

So the key is not to give up. I’m sure God has reasons for why he allows us to fight so long, but he never intends us to give up on Scripture. [1]  Don’t give up when you stumble and bumble.

God’s designs are to bring a surprising verse into your heart in a surprising moment in a surprising situation and do a surprising work of transformation. [2]

Expect a “cushion of carpet!” God’s word is there to break your fall.

Footnotes

[1] See 2 Timothy 3:16-17 │ [2] Is There a Key to Godliness? by John Piper

Rhythm of Cluttered Memories

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Gardening gloves rest on the porch, smudged with years of tending—pulling weeds, shaping shrubs, pressing soft pink flowers into waiting soil. They have hung there for as long as I can remember, draped over the rod, faded and frayed, yet beautiful in their quiet persistence. Some fingertips have worn thin, nearly through, and still they wait—ready to be slipped on once more.

Nearby, a sparrow ornament, rusted and weathered, catches the light. Somehow it still sparkles. Year after year.

Rhythm.

Just a small glimpse into my husband’s childhood home, where rhythm has taken the shape of layered, beloved memories.

We visited his parents recently. Years ago, the clutter unsettled me. This time, it felt different. This time, I felt soothed. The rooms hummed with the gentle rhythm of a life well lived, of good times held and not let go.

The little nik-naks sit where they always have. On the table. In the corners. Quiet witnesses. There are things my children made in grade school—crooked, colorful, earnest creations—still treasured, still kept.

An old stuffed tiger lies on the twin bed. Both eyes are gone. The tail has been stitched back on more times than anyone could count. And yet there it remains, sixty years later. I think every grandchild has slept beside that tiger at some point, its worn fur absorbing generations of comfort.

On the kitchen counter stands a silly wooden turkey, drilled with small holes meant for bright lollipops—because, of course, a turkey should have colorful feathers. When my children were small, they delighted in choosing their favorite flavor from that turkey’s tail. Now it stands featherless, in the same place it has stood for years.

There is a quiet faithfulness in the keeping of these things. She—the one who loves the memories—dusts and cleans, and always returns each piece to its place. Not because it is perfect. Not because it is pretty in any modern sense. But because it matters.

This time, I stopped. I really looked. I let myself be drawn into the rhythm of remembering. And I realized the clutter is not clutter at all.

It is love, layered.

It is history, held gently.

It is a home still breathing with the past.

And somehow, in its steady, unhurried rhythm, it felt like grace.

The Nehemiah Challenge | Part 3 | Getting Going

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For the past several months, I’ve kept a journal of nuggets that I discovered and learned from reading about Nehemiah. The name of the journal is, “The Nehemiah Challenge.”

The following is Part 3 of The Nehemiah Challenge. 

Text: Nehemiah 2:9-20

After praying for 3 to 4 months, Nehemiah asks God what he should do. God’s will became crystal clear–knowing that the uncomfortable work was about to begin and would stretch his resolve and endurance, Nehemiah continued to pray.  It is miraculous that the king reverses years of political policy to grant Nehemiah everything he needs for the work of rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem. To be the recipient of God’s favor is an unspeakable gift!

And so, Nehemiah is getting going on the long journey (800 miles) to Jerusalem. Now as governor, he has full documented permission from the king for validation. He took three days for a sabbath rest and because Nehemiah is a man of prayer, I believed he prayed a lot during that time. During the night hours, with a few men and a horse to ride on, Nehemiah inspected the wall and devastation…broken, burned and destroyed. He was faced with an enormous and daunting task. Being sure of God’s will emboldened Nehemiah while inspiring and influencing the people to strengthen their hands for the good work. When you are doing God’s work, expect to have opposition from people who have the “gift of discouragement.” They can be noisy and abusive with mockery and ridicule.  This is the reality of opposition. We seek to rebuild what’s broken in the world (or church) but the world (or church) will not view its brokenness as needing to be repaired. The rule of action is to actively live out the gospel which gives all glory and power to the God of heaven who will make us prosper.

  1. Getting Going
  2. The Good Work
  3. Mockery and Ridicule
  4. Rule of Action

Getting Going

There is nothing easy or comfortable about what God is calling Nehemiah to. In his role as pioneer in the reconstructing of Jerusalem, we see in him the zeal for God, the love for people, plus the readiness to challenge his challengers and to oppose personal opposition. He does not choose the path of least resistance, the god of comfort. He is well aware that his faith and resolve will be stretched. Once clear on his call, Nehemiah got down to business. He was not a man who let grass grow under his feet. [1] Quietly and methodically, he inspected the different sections of the wall, gathering data, seeing first hand what is needed before he cast the vision and recruited hundreds of others to begin the good work. He has a willingness to work hard under pressure and to inspire and move others to do the same. Nehemiah unites with the people (solidarity) before he challenges them to a greater call. “Come, let us build… that we may no longer suffer derision.”

APPLICATION: Getting going requires a right standing with God, prayer, inspection and evaluation of the job, determining resources, appoint the right leaders at the right time, become united and work alongside of them while gaining their trust.

The Good Work

God is the author and creator of work. He worked for six days and he rested. He has begun a good work in our lives and he will perfect it. (Philippians 1:6) Work is the exertion of effort that aims at producing a new state of affairs. [1] Whatever our calling or profession, our work should reflect the glory of God. “So, whether we eat or drink, or whatever we do, do all to the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31 ESV) Whatever we tackle, whatever God has called us to do, we should be conscientiously doing our best. While there is great joy in doing good work, it can also be very hard and when it becomes hard, we need to pray. Nehemiah is an example of not being self-focused, self-sufficient, self-centered…he is doing the good work God burdened his heart to do and he becomes God-focused, God-sufficient, and God-centered. The quality of his good work is evidenced by the quality of his prayers.

APPLICATION: Praying determines the quality of our working. Working reflects the quality of our praying.

Mockery and Ridicule

Surrounded by opponents on all sides. Sanballat the Horonite governed Samaria, to the north of Judah; Tobiah the Ammonite governed Ammon, to the east of Judah; Geshem the Arab governed the area south of Judah; Ashdodites, who dwelt to the west of Judah.

The world is a messy place. We are messy people with lives full of dysfunctional stuff and so we should not be surprised when we bump into each other over conflicts and disagreements and when opposition arises. Nehemiah demonstrates that humility is the key for progress. 1 Peter 5:1 says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble…so humble yourselves before God and he will lift you up at the proper time.” It takes an act of humility to give thanks for the daily grind of doing the good work. Pursuing the will of God will not always be popular. Will we complain or stop the work? Or will we give thanks and experience the favor of God?

“If we do not give thanks daily for the Christian fellowship in which we have been placed, even where there is no great experience, no discoverable riches, but much weakness, small faith, and difficulty; if on the contrary, we only keep complaining to God that everything is so paltry and petty, so far from what we expected, then we hinder God from letting our fellowship grow according to the measure and riches which are there for us all in Jesus Christ.”–Dietrich Bonhoeffer (Bonhoeffer, by Eric Metaxas) [2]

Because of the self-absorbed habits of our sinful hearts, the only way to anything like pure motives is to pray persistently about the things we do and ask ourselves constantly before the Lord why we are doing them and how they fit in with God’s glory and for the good of his people. [1]

APPLICATION:  When have I (you) risked rejection or failure to pursue the will of the Lord?

Rule of Action

It’s a wonderful thing that God has you doing. It’s overwhelming. It’s exhausting. It’s fully beyond you. But the God of Heaven will enable you to prosper because this is the desire that he has placed upon your heart.

APPLICATION: First Pray, then act, then pray again.

[1] A Passion for Faithfulness, Wisdom from the Book of Nehemiah, page 69, 72, 73, 80  by J. I. Packer; [2] The Village Church Nehemiah Guide

You may enjoy reading:

The Nehemiah Challenge Part One: When Walls are Broken

The Nehemiah Challenge Part Two: A Radical Trust in God

There is an Amazon link on this page. If you buy the book using that link, I will receive a small stipend.

Imagine the Adventure!

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What if you were the only one to go?

What if you were the only one to go?

“I am looking for someone to share in an adventure that I am arranging, and it’s very difficult to find anyone.’ I should think so — in these parts! We are plain quiet folk and have no use for adventures. Nasty disturbing uncomfortable things! Make you late for dinner!”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

In less than six weeks, I will impart on an adventure to another part of the world. Not too far away…I’m not leaving our continent but far enough to need a passport. The airline ticket is purchased. Survival kit for the backpack is coming together–band-aids, hand sanitizer, sunscreen, bug spray, fiber bars and toilet paper. I know how that sounds, but it’s the nasty disturbing uncomfortable things about adventures that concerns me.

I imagine the time away from home will be a challenge at first. Such as the heat, the crowded spaces, the heat, the smells, the heat, the language barrier and the heat. I am planning on sweating a lot.

They were looking for someone to share in an adventure, but it seemed difficult to find anyone. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been reminded, “The harvest is huge. But there are only a few workers.” (Matthew 9:37) Those words are usually preached by the ones who have already experienced adventures, like the one I am about to have. They know the beauty of bright eyes, happy smiles, laughter and hugs from grateful people.

I think with any adventure as this one, we imagine and anticipate seeing evidence of changed hearts and lives in the people we serve. I hope that happens. But actually, I think the evidence of change will be seen more in my own heart and life. I will leave that place but that place will leave with me.

Linking up with everyone for Five Minute Friday, where a remarkably encouraging community gathers to write for five minutes. This week’s prompt is: IMAGINE.

The Nehemiah Challenge | Part 2 | A Radical Trust in God

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The following is Part 2 of The Nehemiah Challenge.

Text: Nehemiah 1:11b -2:8; Isaiah 62:6ff; Philippians 4:6-7

  1. Pray and Wait
  2. Waiting is not Wasted Time
  3. A God-given Calling will Result in God-given Enabling
  4. Give God the Glory

Pray and Wait

Chapter one reveals that Nehemiah has a heart that follows after God. He is a man of prayer and compassion and within a few verses of reading, I notice that he is also a man of character and integrity. Nehemiah sensed God calling him to act, and his radical trust in God is evidenced by his courage to pray and wait for God to unfold the right plan.

Application: A radical trust in God gives courage to wait and not to act hastily. God’s timing is everything. (Philippians 4:6-7)

Waiting is not Wasted Time

Nehemiah identifies foremost with the quest of God’s glory and praise and is accompanied in prayer with godly friends–“servants that delight in honoring God’s name.” (Nehemiah 1:11) They waited on God to answer their prayers today and nothing happened; at least not what they expected. Through their persistent prayers,  God was strengthening their faith and Nehemiah’s resolve for the incredible task before him. This was a God-given call in Nehemiah’s heart and along with his loyal band of prayer warriors, would not rest in praying. Wrote Isaiah: “You who put the Lord in remembrance, take no rest and give him no rest until he establishes Jerusalem and makes it a praise in the earth.” (62:6-7)

Application: A time of unrest and waiting is not wasted time. Courage to wait on God’s timing is also strengthened through the prayers of others. (Ecclesiastes 4:12)

A God-given Calling will Result in God-given Enabling

As cupbearer, Nehemiah had the important job of tasting wine before it was served to the king, to see whether it was poisoned or not. It was an important job that granted him access to the king but it was also very risky. If the wine happened to be laced with poison, the cupbearer would pay the ultimate price, give up his own life, for the king to live. It was a good idea not to look distressed or sad in front of the king at any time, but especially after tasting the wine, yet Nehemiah did. The king noticed the sadness and asked Nehemiah, “Why are you sad, when you are certainly not ill?” That one question was the catalyst God used to launch his plan for renewal and change. For Nehemiah the waiting was about to end.

For months, Nehemiah has been asking God to answer his prayers today.  I imagine a rush of adrenaline pulsing in his chest, knowing all to well that his answer to the king’s question should be crafted well.  So here is Nehemiah, a man who puts his life at risk on a regular basis for the king yet becomes very much afraid at this moment to answer a question about the mission he has been praying over for months already!

God worked through that fear and rush of insecurity, giving Nehemiah confidence to honor and show homage to the king and with that same confidence, to speak boldly on behalf of his people and a city in ruin.

Application: Always expect God to answer prayers today. A God-size calling will result in God-size enabling.

Give God the Glory

Once again, there is another question from the king for Nehemiah to answer: “What are you requesting?”  Nehemiah’s immediate response was not fear but to pray to the God of heaven. A “flash prayer”…a silent prayer lasting a few seconds. Oh, how Nehemiah was depending on God to enable him for this mission. And without fear or hesitation, Nehemiah humbly asks the king for everything on his long and well thought out, prayed over and memorized plan.

And the king said, “Yes!”  For the good hand of God was upon Nehemiah (Nehemiah 2:8) That’s where the glory is to land…not on Nehemiah but directly upon God. Nehemiah humbly acknowledges the gracious hand of God upon him, and the gracious kindness of God in using him, rather than conceitedly supposing that the result is due to his own skills and talents and wisdom and gifts or experience. [1]

Application: God uses ordinary people to do extraordinary things for his glory. It is not about me, it is all about Him!

[1] A Passion for Faithfulness, Wisdom from the Book of Nehemiah, page 68, by J. I. Packer 

Part One: When Walls are Broken: The Nehemiah Challenge Part 1

There is an Amazon link on this page. If you purchase the book using that link, I will receive a small stipend.

Memorial Day is to Remember

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“Above all, we must realize that no arsenal or no weapon in the arsenals of the world is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women.”

~Ronald Reagan

I have wonderful childhood memories of the 1960’s. To mention a few: my parents renting a small carousel and having it delivered to our backyard for my birthday party, eating Jiffy Pop Popcorn while watching black and white movies of Tarzan, Jane and the chimpanzee, Cheeta, on a Saturday afternoon with my Dad and brother…so excited to have our brand new TV in amazing black and white “color.”

A most significant memory I have of the ‘60’s is being at elementary school when my teacher announced to us that President John F. Kennedy had been assassinated. School ended early that day. I remember my mother picking me up from school, tears streaming down her face, crying and crying; sitting in front of that black and white TV with my family, listening and watching Walter Cronkite retell the sad and terrifying news.

A lighter memory is watching The Ed Sullivan Show…a family favorite until the Beatles were showcased. My parents thought the Beatles were “long-haired rebellious punks” but I thought John, Paul, George and Ringo were the grooviest!

This Memorial Day, I am thinking about 1966. One of my friends, that lived on the next block in my neighborhood, rode her bike to my house to tell me her father was home from Vietnam. I was young and didn’t understand what the war in Vietnam was about but I had several friends whose fathers were soldiers in the Army. I knew that their fathers were brave and heroic.

My friend’s father had been home for just a few short hours, and she wanted me to meet him. I remember that he was bigger than life to me. Still dressed in his army fatigues, sitting on a kitchen stool with his beloved wife snuggled in his lap. He was so happy to be home with his family. I remember his kind smile, his military hair cut and his big black army boots and again, I wondered what Vietnam was like and wanted to ask him…but I was afraid to. Everything I had heard about this war sounded horrifying. Why stop their happiness to ask questions.

And then the day came when I learned the sadness of war; the day that the war in Vietnam hit close to home. My best friend, Janet, and I were inseparable while in the fifth grade. One day in March of 1966, the principal of our school came to our classroom and asked Janet to come out in the hall. Her expression was scared and I was too because when the principal called you out in the hall, it meant bad news. Janet did not come back to class and this troubled me. Our teacher told us that Janet’s father had been killed in a helicopter crash. I remember crying.

Years and years go by…while on vacation in Washington, D.C., with my husband and children, we visit The Vietnam Veterans Memorial—The Wall. I wanted to find the name of Janet’s father, Harlow Gary Clark, Jr. I found it! My fingers gently touched his name etched in the marble and remembered his sacrifice and the loss that Janet felt…probably continues to feel.

 LTC Harlow Gary Clark, Jr., is honored on Panel 5E, Row 128 of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial

This is just one of many memories to honor today. Many of my adult friends, Moms and Dads, have lost a son or daughter in war. Friends have lost a spouse in combat for our freedom and their children have lost a parent.

137 years later, Memorial Day remains one of America’s most cherished patriotic observances. The spirit of this day has not changed – it remains a day to honor those who died defending our freedom and democracy. ~Doc Hastings, U.S. Representative

God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say ‘thank you?’ ~William Arthur Ward

So, I end this post with, “Thank You” and the memory etched in my mind as though it were marble, never to forget.

The Swan Story

Childhood friendship

A View of the Unexpected

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A view of the unexpected

I am loving the view from here and it’s not what I expected to see. It is not what I anticipated to have a fondness for. I drive past this quiet stream, near a meadow of yellow flowers, several times throughout the week.  It is a comforting view of stillness and calm of beautiful yellow and green against the blue sky and blue waters.

After driving past this meadow of yellow marigolds for several weeks, I decided to stop driving, park my car… and use my camera to remember what captivated my attention each time I passed by.

God does that. He gives the unexpected of stillness and calm, a simple view of His grandeur. It is good to stop and soak it up.

For the moment, I am content with the view of yellow but I know that it will change in a few days. The farmers will plow the yellow land and plant seeds for a harvest of corn. The view of the farm lands around my home have changed in preparation for the harvest to come.

Stopping to look at this quiet plot of land, waiting to be plowed and seeded, made me think about my own life. It looks pretty on the outside, but it needs constant plowing on the inside.

The average stuff needs to be plowed away in order for the awesome stuff to grow.

This is the unexpected view into my heart. Ready to be plowed and seeded. Waiting for the awesome that God will cause to grow.

You may enjoy reading this too:

The Story of All Things New

Courageous for Something

Linking-up with everyone for, Five-Minute-Friday. The word theme is: View.