Category Archives: Family

Beautiful

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Our day on the lake…just the two of us

Yogurt and strawberries, warm coffee with cream, a morning walk

Sitting on the deck, watching fisherman, reading the bible

A quiet cove, dropping the anchor, reading a book

Floating in still water, talking quietly, smiling

Cold drinks, pulled pork sandwich, ice cream

Sunburn, sunscreen, speeding fast across the water

Our day, on the lake, just the two of us

Beautiful!

Linking up with everyone for Five Minute Friday, where a remarkably encouraging and loving  community gathers to write for five minutes. This week’s prompt is: BEAUTIFUL.

A Stumble and a Bumble

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Stumble and Bumble
She pulls open the bottom drawer of the dresser and searches for the “colorful bathing suit” to put on. The black and white swim suit will not do. It must be the colorful one. “Let’s go to the pool, Gigi!” Already at three years of age, she talks about being on a swim team one day.

Out the door she bounds…walking too fast, slightly unsteady on the top step. Down she goes! Thankfully there are only two wooden steps to stumble and bumble over, plus there was a thick carpet remnant on the concrete floor of the garage, a cushion for her forehead and nose. After a good cry, lots of hugs and comforting, I prayed with her and thanked God that she wasn’t hurt badly and especially for that cushion of carpet. While driving to the pool,  she said, “Gigi, I did a stumble and a bumble but I’m okay.”

Don’t we all stumble and bumble! And we all want to be okay.  We stumble with anger, anxiety, envy, resentment, self-pity, disgust, or frustration. We bumble through discouragement, lust, irritability, impatience, hard-heartedness, brusqueness, unkindness, or withdrawnness. [1] We hope for a cushion of carpet to break our fall.

And you know…we can be more than, “Okay.”

This is what we must do. We must read and know and think and believe that it is trusting in the blood of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit to cover the stumbling and conquer the bumbling. This is the only way we will be more than okay.

I read the book of Jude today. It’s not long…just 25 verses. Here is verse 24:

Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy.

How awesome is that?  One day I will stop stumbling and bumbling…but not today. John Piper is wise when he wrote, “Whether you are in your twenties or sixties, you probably have some long-standing heart-responses you don’t like. These are like reflexes. You don’t choose them. They spring up unintentionally from your heart, usually in response to the people around you. When any one of these attitudes springs up unbidden, you hate it. You have fought it for years with gospel-faithfulness, trusting in the blood of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit to cover it and conquer it. Still it returns. You weep over it, and ask your closest friends to pray for you. There is a short season of reprieve. And there it is again stamping you. Telling you: This is who you are. You say no. In Christ, this is not who I am. His stamp is on my life. True. But O you would be done with this! O to be new, through and through!” [2]

So the key is not to give up. I’m sure God has reasons for why he allows us to fight so long, but he never intends us to give up on Scripture. [1]  Don’t give up when you stumble and bumble.

God’s designs are to bring a surprising verse into your heart in a surprising moment in a surprising situation and do a surprising work of transformation. [2]

Expect a “cushion of carpet!” God’s word is there to break your fall.

Footnotes

[1] See 2 Timothy 3:16-17 │ [2] Is There a Key to Godliness? by John Piper

Rhythm of Cluttered Memories

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Gardening gloves displayed on the porch soiled by years of digging up weeds or trimming the shrubbery or potting pretty pink flowers into the soil. The gloves are always on display, for years they have been draped over the rod…old and faded but pretty in a way. Some of the fingertips on a few pairs of gloves are worn through, yet there they are waiting to be used again and again. The rusted looking sparrow ornament hanging from the porch manages to still sparkle in the sun year after year after year.  Rhythm. Just a glimpse into my husband’s childhood home that has become a rhythm of cluttered memories.

We visited his folks recently. The clutter used to bother me, but this time I was soothed by the peaceful rhythm of good times remembered. The nik-naks have been sitting on the table in the same place for as long as I can remember. There are things my children made in grade school. Treasured memories.

There’s an old stuffed tiger that has lost both eyes and the tail has been stitched back on a dozen times or more. The tiger is still on the twin bed thirty years later. I think every grandchild slept with that old stuffed tiger. There is a silly wooden turkey decoration with lots of holes drilled for colorful lollipops to be stuck in because a turkey must have colorful tail feathers. When my children were young, they were delighted to pick out their favorite flavored lollipop from that wooden turkey decoration. For years that wooden craft has been perched on the kitchen counter, in the same place…without the colorful tail feathers.

There is a lovely rhythm of maintaining each piece of cluttered memory. She–the one who loves the memories–dusts and cleans and puts everything back in the same place. This time when I visited the folks, I stopped and pondered the clutter and was pulled into the rhythm of memories.

Linking up with everyone for Five Minute Friday, where a remarkably encouraging and lively community gathers to write for five minutes. This week’s prompt is: Rhythm.

My Song to Sing

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Bird Song

Oh sing to the Lord a new song; sing to the Lord, all the earth!    Psalm 96:1

I have a song to sing!  It’s my song, and one that will never be heard by anyone else, save my granddaughter…and God.

I sing often. Even if I don’t remember the words to a favorite melody, I create new words that nicely match a familiar tune. Recently, I’ve been creating new songs, such as singing prayers to God. Occasionally while reading through the Psalms, I will recognize a Psalm with a melody already recorded and will sing God’s words back to Him. Psalm 100 is a good example of this. I remember this Psalm and the melody from high school youth group.

I recently returned from an extended visit with my granddaughter. She loves to sing songs and I love listening to her voice sounding so sweet–even while singing along with a CD playing as we drive to the park. And wouldn’t you know, the song “Old King Cole” is truly delightful with a three-year old belting the lyrics in perfect harmony!

I imagine God having great joy from little ones singing. It was the voices of children shouting and singing, “Hosanna!” as Jesus entered Jerusalem while riding on a donkey and the voices of infants and children quieting the murmurings and harsh words from grumpy people. (My interpretation of Psalm 8:2, From the mouths of children and babies come songs of praise to you. They sing of your power to silence your enemies who were seeking revenge.) So yes, the voices of children singing is quite powerful. Song will sooth a soul and spark it with smiles shining bright.

Not all of my songs are joyful ones, however. I have belted out a chorus of complaints, worry and bewilderment in a minor key. A real sour note. I take great comfort in the fact that many of the Psalms focus on lamenting over a worrisome predicament. I would argue that even those songs are indeed, “A new song to the Lord.” Singing to God our woes and anxiety is a humbling feat that will result in great peace. I love knowing that God cares…”Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7, ESV)

Sometimes, we need to sing songs in the night. It can be difficult, especially when the birds stop chirping and the stars are hidden behind clouds and seem not to twinkle in the black sky. The dark night has a way of bringing all of the anxieties and woes to surface in our thoughts and dreams.

But God is the light in the darkness and He has created the night-time for our good. To rest in peace and sleep.  He is not a God that brings on worry and distress in the dark hours (or day hours), but to take the worry and distress away. Darkness is good for rest. God created us to sleep when the sun dims to welcome the light of the moon–however, when a little one is ill, the darkness stirs a different kind of song. A song to sing to a little one, sick with tummy rumblings.  In the midst of the wee morning hours of darkness, God gave me a song to comfort her, my granddaughter. She hears my song to sing. And she sleeps.  (“But none says, ‘Where is God my Maker, who gives songs in the night.”  Job 35:10)

We can sing high praises to ourselves when all is joyful, but we cannot sing praise to any but our God when circumstances are untoward and Providences appear adverse. God alone can furnish us with songs in the night. And yet again, not only does God give the song in the night because He is the only subject upon which we can sing, then, but because He is the only One who inspires songs in the night. ~Charles Spurgeon

How good is our God to give us voices to sing a new song! To the Glory of God, we sing! Day or night, this is my song to sing.

This is long over due and I am extremely late to link up with “Five Minute Friday” …the topic is: SONG. 

To Find Comfort in the Creative

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Watercolor by Donna

Watercolor by Donna

I am a Creative. I find comfort in the creative. I enjoy a variety of things, but primarily I like to write and paint. If I’m in a good mood, being creative brings on the joy even more so. If I have the blues, being creative brings lightness which lifts the heaviness I am feeling. Like Julie Cameron author of “The Artists Way” says, “It is difficult to be depressed and in action at the same time.”

However, I don’t always find comfort in the creative. First, I struggle to write an article or a blog post. Just writing the first paragraph takes a lot of effort and because I’m a perfectionist, I’m usually never satisfied with the end result. Secondly, to pick up a pencil to sketch a design or a paint brush to splash on color can be an effort as well because it will require that this ADD temperament of mine to focus on finishing the project.  And then it’s the mess of the paint supplies, or the pile of books (research material) taking over the dinning room table. My husband has grown to appreciate my messiness and gives me encouragement and comfort to explore being creative.

I have a friend that happens to be a watercolor artist. She inspired me to unleash the “wanna-be-artist” hiding inside. She encouraged me to relax and to find comfort in the creative. She is the most gracious friend that sees beauty in everything that I attempt to paint. She encourages me not to hide my work, but to keep it in view and then paint another one. Always paint one more. Always write one more article.

I’ve asked myself what manic or compulsive hours will I give up in trade for the equivalent time to write, or paint? Time is not free—that’s why it’s so precious and worth fighting for. (Ann Lamott said that. She is the author of “Bird by Bird” as well as many other books.) As a gift to myself, I am saying,”no” to some things so that I may say,”yes” for time to find comfort in the creative.

I once wrote a short post about the photo of my granddaughter sniffing a tulip. She loves to discover all that is creative. Her comfort with exploring a beautiful piece of creation made me wonder what a tulip smells like. It made me notice the tulips.

Finding comfort in the creative is noticing those small details–to be in the world–present and in awe. To thank God, the author of creativity, the designer of all creation for splashing beautiful colors on a blank canvas, called my soul. For writing His words of truth and hope to guide this perfectionist to realize that real comfort in the creative can only be found by knowing the Creator.

Linking up with everyone for Five Minute Friday, where a remarkably encouraging community gathers to write for five minutes. This week’s prompt is: COMFORT
 
There is an Amazon link on this page. If you purchase the book using that link, I will receive a small stipend. 

Plan Today to be Productive Tomorrow

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Plan Today

“If we don’t start, it’s certain we can’t arrive” –Zig Ziglar

How often do you ask yourself at the end of the day, “Where has the time gone?”  You realize the day is over and you didn’t carry out what you had planned to get done. Did the “procrastination shadow” follow you all day? Ever feel like you’re the foremost expert on the subject of putting off until tomorrow what you should do today?

Granted, some people are better at getting things done more than others. For those of us that are easily distracted, perhaps the simplest thing we need to do, and probably the most challenging too, is to learn to manage our time better. One of our biggest challenges when it comes to capitalizing on time is that we don’t really know how we spend it.

The best thing I’ve done for myself is to plan today to be productive tomorrow, otherwise I lose track of the time and do very little.

One way that I plan today to be productive tomorrow is to make a check list of things to do. A check list is a simple tool that helps me focus on tasks and it’s also a record of how I’ve spent my time. The items on the list are not jotted down in order of importance. If I think of something I need to do, I add it the bottom of the list.  After completing tasks, I check it off the list. At the end of the day, I look over the list and feel a sense of accomplishment.

However, what really bugs me is that several tasks stay on the list day after day. Those tasks are the ones that I dread starting; the ones that take more mental energy to begin. It’s the fault of the “procrastination shadow” following me all day. The only way I will lose that shadow is do the worst task, or the one I dread the most on my list, first thing.

To help with that, I give myself a dose-of-motivation–the night before–so that when tomorrow arrives, I’m more inclined not to procrastinate. An example of a dose-of-motivation is a short phrase and easy to remember, like this quote from Zig Ziglar:

If we don’t start, it’s certain we can’t arrive.

Here are four things I do today to be productive tomorrow:

1. Nurture my spiritual life:

Bend the knee and read the greatest history book ever written. Establish a daily rhythm of starting the day off in prayer and bible reading. In other words, I prioritize the daily time I spend devoting my attention exclusively to the glory of Christ and receiving the satisfaction he gives. I love Matthew 6:33 where Jesus said, “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you.” It’s true, I am more productive when I keep God first and by doing so, I become a better steward of time, especially with taking care of those things that I procrastinate.

2. Take care of my physical needs:

Exercise and don’t skip eating breakfast. This is something that is a non-negotiable. If I’m unable to run or walk outdoors, there is nothing stopping me from finding a motivating workout routine on the internet. I have to wake up earlier to exercise or else I will miss the window of opportunity.  Breakfast has become a favorite meal of the day. Often the night before, I will make a “yogurt-to-go” cup. Layering yogurt, nuts and fresh berries in throw-away cup. I grab it and go! It’s so easy to miss breakfast in the morning, especially with rushing out the door to take children to school and to make it to work on time, but you’ll soon feel the pangs of skipping that meal once the morning rush of adrenaline comes to a halt.

3. Create a to-do-list

If you aim for nothing, you’ll hit it every time. There are several time management apps that are useful for managing a to-do-list. A paper and pencil work too! I like setting time limits to work on a task…set a timer on my iPhone to buzz after 30 minutes. This helps me to stay focused on finishing the task. Setting a timer reminds me about making chores a fun competition with my children. We can race each other to see who will beat the clock.

 4. Guard my family time

At the end of the day, the one thing that matters most are the people in my family. The work day is over and now it is time to lean into my family, forgetting everything left in the office and those many details still left undone on that to-do-list.

If I manage myself well throughout the day, I will be a better leader for my family at the end of the day. And when the evening has become still and quiet and my family has settled down for the night, I reflect on the events of the day and consider how it will impact tomorrow.

“Motivation gets you going and habit gets you there.  Make motivation a habit and you will get there more quickly and have more fun on the trip.” -Zig Ziglar

You may find the following posts helpful:

How to Break Bad Habits

The Joy of Running

Four Ways to Make Your Personal Worship Habit Forming

In Pursuit of a Gospel-Centered Community

For an added dose of motivation:

6 Unintended Casualties of Mismanaging Your Time

Trick Your Lazy Brain Into Being More Productive

How to Set Yourself Up for a Productive Day

Zig Ziglar Quotes

The Stuff of Friendship

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the stuff of friendship

I’ve been gone for a week. I traveled with friends to the Orange Conference 2013. If you’ve never been, you’re missing out. I invited six friends to go with me. This was the first time for them to experience an Orange Conference and I suspect they will continue to unpack what they heard and learned for weeks to come.  I’m still chewing on the great stuff I heard. I’ll write about that great stuff later, but right now I’m focusing this moment on the stuff of friendship.

Those six friends that accompanied me to Atlanta are new friendships in the making. They don’t know me well and most have not heard my story of being rescued by Jesus Christ. They don’t know my family, my children and grandchildren. They don’t know about the crazy wild and fun adventures my family has experienced or the deep sadness of loss we have dealt with. These new friends do not know my history, yet they are now part my life story. And you know what, I am now woven into their story, too.

I had to stop and think about that…I am now woven into their story, too. My new friends have opened a small window into their life story and I have offered them a glimpse into my history. The stuff of friendship is messy when everyone’s history is dumped on each other. I realize it takes time for friendships to become engrained with trust, laughter, and acceptance of the real messiness of junk. All of that junk that keeps us bending the knee in prayer and surrendering in submission to God for help. The stuff of friendship means that I give them grace when they mess up and they give me grace when I fail.

The stuff of friendship is built on the foundation of Jesus, the number one example of what being a real friend is. While Jesus was all God (think about that! ALL God!) He was very comfortable hanging out with the “worst ” of people. The worst of people who needed a real friend to impact their history…nasty and messy people with raunchy stories that would soon be filled with supernatural beauty of healing, forgiveness and life change. Jesus added more fun and laughter into their lives. He gave them something real to be happy about!

Those friends of Jesus were transparent before him. They spilled their guts and messiness all over him. They wanted more of Jesus and he welcomed them into a new life of freedom and victory. He took their mess and began to rewrite their stories. Jesus offered them a way out of their messy junked up life. Their history was forever changed.

The stuff of friendship is like that. We are the voice of Jesus into a broken world, shouting beautiful words of hope and joy, sounds of laughter, having fun and sharing stories of real life change. We can help shape another person’s story, add grace from God’s truth and begin to weave it into the life of a new friend’s life story. The stuff of friendship is the stuff of stories full of God’s redeeming grace.

So, I’ve been gone for a week. I walked in the door of our home very late. My husband was waiting for me. When I walked in, very tired and weary, he was there to embrace me and he said, “Finally, you are home! It’s good to see you!”

The stuff of friendship is woven into our marriage, our life together means transparency and acceptance of all the junk and messiness that we are capable of and we continue to love each other through it all.

My husband is a handsome introvert. Introverts find their strength and rejuvenation with retreating into a quite respite by themselves. Introverts are very contented with alone time. I know this about my hubby and since our friendship is woven deep and knotted with life, I am very happy to give him time to be alone.

That’s why I treasure the words he said to me, “I am most contented with me, myself, and you!” No longer is it, “me, myself, and I” but YOU.

The stuff of friendship is about including the people whom God moves into our stories. It’s knotted up in the life of each other. It’s including all of those “YOU’s” out there into our life. We have very little time left to make a difference in the lives of our families, much less into the lives of friends that God brings to us.

We are people needing the stuff of friendship…the catalyst for a deep devotion, and sustaining faith in God.  Friendship and loyalty that can single-handedly make it possible for us to survive.

“Friendship” is a mild word for such an extraordinary and holy connection, for what can be the most sustaining, life-giving, death-defying relationships some of us will ever experience. My closest friends are the reason for my deep faith in God, because through them I have discovered what superhuman intimacy and devotion are. ~Anne Lamott

The Joy of Running

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Preface: I wrote this piece before I heard the news regarding the Boston Marathon tragedy. This is a horrific and wicked thing. Our family prayed together for the families and people affected by this horror. I pray they are able to run again with joy and peace. That broken lives will mend. Please Lord, More Grace to them.

For the pure joy of running

“Want a strong, solid relationship that is willing to go the distance? Get to know your running shoes.”  –Dean Karnazes

How many pairs of running shoes have I owned? I have no idea! I wish I had kept track of the number of shoes I’ve worn out from the miles of pounding pavement and trails. If I had kept a folder of receipts from all those purchases and submitted copies of said receipts (with a sincere compliment for the brand) I may have won a free gift from ASICS footwear, the brand of running shoes that has been good to my feet for many years. Why change after 32 years of running!

I love to run. But I didn’t used to. In fact, there was a time I would avoid all exercise simply because I hated to sweat. Fast rewind. I had become an overweight and out-of-shape soccer mom who was always too busy with everyone and everything else to focus on my own physical needs. I realized that I needed to make a healthy change. With support from my encouraging husband and close friends to help with childcare, I was able to schedule a several hours each week to walk.

Eventually, the more I walked the better I felt…about everything. These daily walks became a rhythm for praying, listening to music or an audio book, and thinking about solutions to problems. Not only did I lose weight and drop pant sizes, but the “alone time” in walking made me a better wife, mother, friend, and leader.

After several months, the walking turned into “wogging” (which is a walking-jogging combination). I remember buying my first pair of ASICS around that time. After “wogging” for a while, I discovered I could run for a longer amount of time before stopping. Eventually, I was running 6 miles in an hour. My husband also started running and along with our children, we spent many a Saturday morning participating in family fun runs or 10K races.

Here are few things that have kept me sweating for the joy of running:

 1.  Take care of my feet. Wear quality running shoes. Understanding my personal pronation type is crucial to choosing the proper running shoes. Visit a retail sport store that specializes in running to receive the best advice regarding the right shoe.

2. Stay injury free! Practice right running techniques. After incurring repeated foot pain and knee injuries, I investigated how to run injury free and discovered the Pose Method of running, which focuses on mid-foot or forefoot strike versus heal-striking. I also had to practice the correct posture and learn how to run relaxed. I usually feel better after I run due to learning this technique. I’ve also seen a huge improvement in distance and speed when running on trails or grass with the Pose Method.

3.  Run with a friend or join a running group for encouragement. Running with a friend or group keeps me accountable to a routine and motivates me to stay on a healthy running pace. Plus if I can hold a conversation while running, then it’s a good sign that I’m not running too hard (anaerobic) and can run longer and burn more fat (aerobic). 

4. Select music with the right beat that matches my running cadence. I created several playlists featuring a variety of artists to keep my runs interesting and fun. I always run against traffic (facing cars coming head on) so I can move out-of-the-way of an on coming car. I don’t trust drivers to watch out for me so I don’t run with traffic. I always run with my cell phone.

5. Eat healthy and stay hydrated. I need energy (fuel) to run well and maintain hydration so I don’t burn out. When I eat healthy all of the time and drink plenty of water everyday, my runs are much easier and I feel energized after running. Sometimes, I’ll have a light snack before a morning run but always refuel after a run with a healthy meal or blend a kale-protein shake concoction (Really delicious! It’s all about the right ingredients.)

6. Take rest days. Go for a walk instead. It’s okay not to run everyday. In fact, rest is good for the body. Maintain core fitness, strength training and stretching also helps to keep me injury free. I enjoy listening to a podcast or “read with my ears” via Kindle/Audible.com while taking a long casual walk on the rest days.

7. Worship gives me pure joy while running. Many of the playlists I created are worship songs. Often times, I do not want to walk or run due to feeling blah or discouraged or the weather is cold and gray. This is when self-discipline is needed to lace up the running shoes and layer up to face the winter chill. Exercise is good to boost the endorphins and combine that with listening to praise music and worship songs elevate my heart to the right place of focusing on Jesus instead of the blahs. I do this for the joy of running…32 years of pounding the pavement and still counting!

Every physical, created pleasure is meant to serve a higher pleasure; the pleasure of God.  –Paul David Tripp