Invisible Kids: The Swan Story

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The Swan Story

Say, “CHEESE!”   Click and the picture is taken.

This photo was taken in 1966 and I saw it for the first time a short while ago. A friend of our family mailed it to my father. Evidently, this friend was camping with us to have taken this picture, but my memory doesn’t go back that far. In the background is my mom and dad putting up our camper. Our family went camping all of the time. I have wonderful memories of sitting around the campfire, listening to my parents tell adventure stories until late in the evening. Daytime fun included swimming or hiking trails.

That’s me… pictured on the left with my best friend, Janet. I always said Janet was the prettiest of us two.  I laughed when I saw this photo of myself and also recalled fabulous memories of my good friend. When my  husband looked at the photo, he laughed too at the sight of my long skinny legs and goofy grin.

This photo also brings back a lot of memories of a quiet, painfully shy, and awkward young girl about to enter middle school. She lacked self-confidence, was always the last person chosen to play on a volley ball team during PE class, and rarely did anyone invite her to sit with them during lunch.

She was living “The Ugly Duckling” story.

She was bullied, not physically, but by words … simply because she was different. She often felt unnoticed.  She was invisible.

As a leader in children’s ministry, I often visit other churches to observe their children’s ministries or youth group programs. I particularly enjoy watching ministry in action. The first thing I quietly look for is how adults interact with the kids. I also observe how the youth relate to each other. I look for the invisible kids. I often remember and see myself in those children and youth that seem invisible to their peers and the adults around them.

I want to encourage the adult leaders to find the quite ones, the awkward ones, the kids that are different or don’t fit in the cliques formed around them. I want to encourage the youth…those students that are popular, to be a friend to someone who is different from them. To set the example. To be a real leader. To show them Jesus.

We need to work at developing relationships and create a welcoming environment in our churches for all kids and students. This will require a change of  heart. I really believe when our church is focused on being Jesus-centered…a gospel-centered church, the invisible kids will be seen.

They will be seen as a valuable person and needed.  They will feel appreciated. They will be in community, encouraged and mentored by Godly leaders.  And their voice will be heard and their unique gifts and talents will be applauded. Their self-confidence will become anchored in God’s love and acceptance of them, rather than placing too high a value on their perception of what other people think.

They are not ugly ducklings. They are swans.

I asked my husband what he really thought of the photo of me and he said, “You are proof of the swan story–when the ugly duckling grows up to be a swan.”

“Are you saying I was an ugly duckling?”

“No, I’m saying you are a swan.”

It’s nice to be a swan. I’ll take that.

In Pursuit of a Gospel-Centered Community

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The following is a few thoughts from my Sunday devotional: In Pursuit of a Gospel-Centered Community. Where is this community? Wherever I work, live and play. There is nothing deeper and stronger than the gospel on which to build community.

Let Love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Out do one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. (Romans 12:9-13 ESV)

Let love be genuine: True gospel-saturated community is authentic.

Abhor what is evil: A gospel-centered community will embrace people in their brokenness while making war on sin. Don’t abhor people but abhor evil.

Love one another with brotherly affection: A Jesus-centered gospel calls us to possess a deep brotherly love as we would for our own family, this is a familial affection.

Out do one another in showing honor: Affection for the Lord leads to affection for others, resulting in out doing one another in honor. [1]

Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord: Relationships go deep when arms are linked in a great cause that you are ready to lay down your lives for. Stir up zeal for God and for the cause of God and truth and life. Be passionate in your spirit. [2]

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer: When life is hard, we can either give up on hope or get it from joy. Tribulation drives the roots of joy down into hope  and fight to be constant in prayer, God acts when we pray. [3]

Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality: Lavish mercy, give from your wealth, mentor others, teach a skill, open your lives and the doors of your home.

Being in pursuit of a gospel-centered community is a “forever journey.” The only way that we are able to do any of this is answered in Romans 12:1 (The Message)

So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

[1] Matt Chandler, Creature of the Word, page 59  ❘  [2] John Piper:  Be Strong and Fervent in Spirit,  ❘  [3] John Piper: Happy in Hope, Patient in Pain, Constant in Prayer

Beloved: Be-Loved

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The God of the universe, the same God who paints a sunset, shapes a mountain and plans the waves at the beach, has chosen to love us, not because of who we are, but because of who He is. Our role in this is to BE-LOVED.  –Ron Edmonson

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is.  1 John 3:1-2 ESV

I am beloved. I am overwhelmed by this love.

Here is a song by David Crowder (Oh How He Loves) with Matt Chandler and John Piper. Be encouraged. Be-loved.

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Five Minute Friday

 

Linking up with everyone for Five Minute Friday, where a remarkably encouraging and loving  community gathers to write for five minutes. This week’s prompt is: BELOVED.

Our Family Reunion

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family reunion

A few of my silly relatives

This week has flown by much too fast. I wish we had more time…my husband and I planned a long weekend with our children and grandchildren. There is nothing better than playing with our granddaughters! In addition, we arranged a reunion with some of our extended families…on my husband’s side and mine (a day for his and a day for mine). My bright idea for the reunion was to have our family history present with a visual showcase of memories.

My bright idea began with sorting through hundreds and hundreds of photos from nearly 35 years of printed pictures. I never took the time to organize our photos in “sweet” crafty scrapbooks or in a systematic file box with photos labeled and categorized per year, child or event. But I did have lots of blank envelopes containing photos in no particular order, plus bundles of photos with an old rubber band binding the memory together, only to disintegrate when it was removed.  All of the photos had been neatly stashed in a very large plastic storage box.

I began opening each envelope and quickly realized that I was being sucked into a black hole of photo oblivion and there was no turning back. I was determined to see the clear bottom of the plastic box.

I spent hours, which turned into days…with the memories, smiles, laughter, cries and sorrow. Every photo told a story. Every photo holds a memory. I could hear the voices of friends and family and the laughter of our children. Visual reminders of loved ones that have passed and grateful for our heritage and their legacy. Every photo is a piece of our grand story designed by a loving God.  As my husband and I looked through the photos, we kept saying, “Thank you, God! We are blessed!”

My work paid off as the photos were a hit and an added comic relief looking at the styles of the mid 1970’s through the ’80’s. It was a lot of work to sort the photos and to plan the reunion, but so worth it! By now, everyone has returned to their homes and routines and we all agreed that we need to do this more often. I treasure these memories plus, I have more photos to add to my organized collection!

cuties

cuties

The Saturday Assortment #5

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The Saturday Assortment

The Saturday Assortment is a collection of unrelated and random things that I find interesting, challenging, motivating and sometimes quite out of the ordinary. It’s an assortment of things that caught my attention throughout the week. I bet you will find them equally engaging.  Enjoy!

10 Resolutions for Mental Health  This is a wonderful and very encouraging post to read! John Piper is the author of  this article, based on a lecture given by one of his professors at Wheaton College. Here is a quote from #3 on the list:

I shall not fall into the falsehood that this day, or any day, is merely another ambiguous and plodding twenty-four hours, but rather a unique event, filled, if I so wish, with worthy potentialities.

12 Essentials to Church Communications  The church is the hope of the world. As church leaders, we have the responsibility of communicating the greatest message known to mankind; the only message capable of changing a person’s entire eternity. The weight of that responsibility is both profound and incredible. It moves us to action, and demands we communicate it well.

A book to recommend:  Creature of the Word: The Jesus-Centred Church, Matt Chandler, Josh Patterson and Eric Geiger

We want to remind people that Christ is the head of the Church, and everything about how our church functions and operates should reflect the new life we are given in Jesus. -Matt Chandler

creature-of-the-word

A quote from the book:

 “If mission engagement is in the culture of a church without continual gospel reminders, the tendency will be to drift towards mission as a way to cleanse the conscience rather than a response to God’s mission for us. If expressive worship is in the culture of a church without continual gospel awareness, the tendency will be to focus on what is done for God rather than remembering what he has done. If transparency and honesty are in the culture of a church without continual gospel encounters, the tendency will be to discuss the sinfulness without repentance.” (page 102-103)

Three Words About Family: The Bare Facts

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Linking up with everyone for Five Minute Friday, where a remarkably encouraging and loving  community gathers to write for five minutes. This week’s prompt is: BARE.

I’m writing about my family. I am writing about my church. Family life can be messy, especially when you know the bare facts about each other. Church life can be messy, especially when you know the bare facts about each other. I love my family no matter the bareness revealed in their mental, emotional and spiritual life. We are linked together. I hope my church will love my family no matter the bareness revealed in their mental, emotional and spiritual life. We are linked together. We are family.

Three Words About Family

We are functional. We are dysfunctional.

We experience God. We need God.

We have assurance. We have doubts.

We have peace. We are anxious.

We are content. We want more.

We do cry. We don’t cry.

We are strong. We are weak.

We don’t stop. We give up.

We are happy. We are angry.

We are praying. We don’t pray.

We are sure. We are confused.

We have hope. We are afraid.

God is near. God is far.

We are found. We are lost.

We are family. We are family.

Five Minute Friday

Afraid [no more]

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AFRAID

What are you afraid of? Do you remember the time when fear felt like a vise grip? You’ll never forget how you felt when the surge of anxiety and adrenalin flowed through your mind and body.

Sometimes that type of fear can happen at an amusement park after the ticket is purchased and you’re harnessed in a seat or cage for the gut wrenching joy ride or a plunging “death-drop” experience…and that fear can be quite awesome. Even though your throat is raw from screaming out your lungs, you’ll find yourself back in line to do it again. While you remember the fear, you are not afraid to purchase a ticket for another repeat. You push through the fear and you go for it.

There are experiences that I hope will never happen again as I remember how afraid I was…like the time a vicious dog charged and lunged at me or when I was in a bad car accident.  I had to break through that type of fear so that it would not consume me or prevent me from going on a leisure run through my neighborhood or driving a car again.  No one coaxed me  to put on my running shoes or to drive to the grocery store. I just did it…I got over the fear.

Yet, on a more personal level, I became very afraid after hearing the doctor say, “Possibly five or six months. The tumor is large and in the worst possible place.”  This type of fear did consume me to the point that I began to doubt God’s love, his goodness, kindness and sovereignty.  Life for me became a day-to-day survival just to keep my head up and try to push through the fear of impending death and loss…

However, I could not push through the fear and I could not get over it. I felt the grip of fear and doubt and it cast an ominous shadow over God’s love and grace. The more I doubted God, the tighter I felt the squeeze of fear.  The calendar was now at four months. Exhausted, depressed and fearful while the clock was ticking.

Thankfully, God did not abandon me, even though it seemed that I had abandoned Him. To get over this doubt, I needed to run to the One I doubted, the author of my story. I saturated my thoughts with words of truth, God’s word. I replaced anxious thoughts with prayers of praise. God helped me to believe the gospel again…to be assured that His love for us reaches beyond the grave. I imagined myself going to Jesus’ tomb and looking inside. It is empty. Jesus is alive.  The death of my loved one was the beginning of her new life. I am confident of that. I am not afraid. “Thank you, God, that your perfect love casts out fear.”

The Saturday Assortment #4

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The Saturday Assortment

The Saturday Assortment is a collection of unrelated and random things that I find interesting, challenging, motivating and sometimes quite out of the ordinary. It’s an assortment of things that caught my attention throughout the week. I bet you will find them equally engaging.  Enjoy!

This issue of The Saturday Assortment focuses on children with special needs and the families that love them. (so many children and so many families.) 

Watch this! You will be inspired! You will be proud. I am passionate about ministry to children with special needs. I wish every church would consider how they can become an inclusive church for all families, and in doing so, it will require children’s ministry to change and grow in a new-right direction. And you will not regret the effort. It is so worth it! Listen closely  to what Conner says. Perhaps his words will motivate you to consider how your church can become an inclusive church for children with special needs.

Speaking of an inclusive church, please check out this website to discover a plethora of information about ministry to children to with special needs.  The Inclusive Church blog is packed with resources, practical application, insightful solutions that will surely encourage and inspire.

A very personal journey about a family that thrives on God’s grace, is devoted to family, has ventured on the journey of adoption, passionate about special needs, and brings it home to all of us wanting to know more. Go to: Dinglefest.

Snappin’ Ministries is “a nationwide support network for parents of children with special needs. Their mission is to support and encourage those living with the daily challenge of parenting a special needs child, so that they may experience the genuine love and hope of Jesus in their everyday lives.”

Noah’s Dad writes about his son, Noah that has Down’s Syndrome. This is more than a personal life story, there is information helpful for families and ministry leaders.