Category Archives: Life

The Rough Edges of a Smooth Life: New Year’s Eve

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Focus

It’s New Year’s Eve! It’s that time of year again to focus on the events of the past…those good and bad things that naturally happen to all of us and so we begin to plan new year resolutions to not repeat the bad things that we made a mess of and to aim for more of the good things. But not the same good things, definitely better and much greater! We want to forget the messes we stirred up and the mistakes that we made.

Frankly, I’m done with planning New Year resolutions. In the past, I’ve written grand lists of self-centered improvement tactics that only infuriated me when I continued to do the things that I wanted to stop doing. I kept getting in my way of being successful. I need to continue to plan today to be productive tomorrow. 

Secondly, bad things and messes and mistakes will always occur. There will always be rough edges of a smooth life. While I don’t wish for anything awful to happen or to experience difficult situations, I know for a fact that I will, because every smooth life is designed with rough edges.

It is the rough edges that add the character development for self-improvement.

What I enjoy most about New Year’s Eve is reflecting on the year that is coming to its end. I like to think about the year in reverse. Instead of beginning in the winter of January 2013, I begin with September and the first beginnings of autumn. A family birthday celebration at the beach and early morning walks along the shore before the sun announced the new day.

A Better Story

Andy Layla

Remembering the season of red and orange leaves and the glorious days of family outings at a pumpkin patch, watching our little one march happily from pumpkin to pumpkin and climbing over hay bales. With each little foot step our little one takes or the squeeze of a tiny hand in mine, I am reminded that God has gone before us on the path our family has journeyed and he is holding us firmly in his strong right hand.

Layla at the Pumpkin Patch

Isla and Pumpkins

I remember a chaotic and exhausted feeling from fighting the never-ending bout of nerve pain. Those peaceful walks along a wooded path under the beams of sunshine cascading through golden leaves reminds me of God’s presence then and to celebrate that he knows the pain of those rough edges I felt and he did enable me to be vibrant through the rough.

Rough Edges of a Smooth Life Rough Edges of a Smooth Life

After autumn, I have a flashback to the hot days of summer and those oscillating fans blowing on my legs and face. I ventured on a missions trip that stirred my heart to move out of my comfort zone…to search for rough edges in the deep of another’s person life–to help them experience a smooth life, in some kind of way.

I am thankful that God has placed this longing in my heart to venture into the rough of an unknown community. It was good (and still is) to feel the sharpening of the Holy Spirit on those rough edges in my heart, melting them away, smoothing the edges with more mercy and grace.

View from the flag pole

When I think about spring, I remember having a new appreciation for the handiwork of God, the creator. I learned to have a consistent time of personal worship. I remember wanting more of Jesus and praying for God to change my heart. It’s good to look back through the year, as now I can understand that those rough edges in my life were being formed and shaped by the one who loved me the most, God. I was running four miles almost daily and felt like my space in this world could not get any better than running with worship tunes streaming through ear buds. My smooth life as I once knew it was soon going to change.

New Growth 2

Bird Song

Through daily personal worship, I began to see God in the smallest of insects or in the buds of a tree about to burst in color. I think back to those lonely days of adjusting to being alone yet being completely filled with joy and peace in the Creator, thankful that he sprinkled a bit of his creativity onto me through watercolor painting. God was beginning to show me more of the rough edges in my life that only he could smooth out.

Watercolor by Donna

Watercolor by Donna

And now, here we are at the winter and the close of a new year. A year of surrendering to the handiwork of God, creating and shaping my soul to want more of him, to want to be changed because of his grace alone.

It would take a year feeling the tenderness of more grace in the rough edges for me to surrender my strength and become even stronger through weakness and to know that a smooth life can still be smooth through the trials when it is God who is giving the strength to keep going. There is a void from a loss of a family member and we celebrate that God is making all things new.

Winter

I did something completely different this Christmas while celebrating Advent. While wanting to take the time to focus my heart on the fulfilled expectation of Christ’s first coming and the glorious expectation of His second coming, I also wanted to focus on the freedom I have in Christ to overcome an obstacle…a very rough edge. So, I began a “Lent in Advent” with the purpose of giving up something for the 25 days of celebrating Advent….a self-inflicted rough edge that controlled me. While focusing on the one…God’s Son, the one God promised to send to rescue me, I struggled through the Lenten process of giving up, running away from it and running into the fulfilled expectation of Jesus first coming and all that he accomplished for me (for us) on that cross. It is day 31 in “Lent for Advent”.

Looking back through the year shows me how God has kept his promise to love us no matter what. He has given us a gospel-centered community to intercede for us in prayer, encouragement and friendship. He is constantly rescuing us. Revealing his story to us when we need him the most. The storms and trials are rough yet Jesus is in the boat too. The storm knows his voice and life becomes smooth.  Without the rough edges, those hard trials, I would not have been able to celebrate real joy and victory through Christ. I would not want a smooth life any other way.

I am eager and excited to welcome 2014! I can’t wait to live the better story God has for us!

Happy New Year!

Don and Donna

The links on this page will take you to posts that I’ve written this year. Move the curser over the link for the title of the post. I hope you will be encouraged by reading. -Donna

The Last Santa Dance

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In Memory of Pop

In Memory of Pop

We are mourning the passing of Dad, a husband to one wife, fondly called Pop and Grandpa. People knew him as Bit Harris. His given name at his birth is not important right now. People bought a car from Bit, not the name on his birth certificate. That’s what he did for a living…he was a self-employed car dealer that people could trust.

He laughed a lot with his sons and spoiled the grandkids. The yard and shrubs were always groomed with perfection and he kept the backyard swimming pool sparkling for weekend family fun, birthday parties, and ready as a vacation haven for out-of-town relatives.

He rarely slept apart from his wife expect for the last week of his life. There were a few weeks apart during short stays in a nursing home for physical therapy, but I’m not counting those weeks. That last week occurred when he moved into the bed provided by Hospice. Even then he asked his sweet wife if there was room for two in that bed.

What they had going for them was long-suffering and a commitment to each other for better and for worse. What I find most significant is the most gracious and merciful woman who was his wife for close to 69 years and the mother to their six rowdy boys. The one that managed their household and kept their lives steady all the while working full-time for thirty years or more to help support the family. She is a saint! She is a role model for me.

Their marriage was not perfect by a long shot. All of us that are married will admit that marriage requires hard work and a lot of forgiveness and grace. The kind of grace that is desperately needed and should have been asked for years earlier. You can’t ask for something when you don’t know what you don’t know. Bit didn’t know what he needed.

Somewhere along the way, God arranged a meeting between Bit and a Pastor named Jack. There were a lot of pastors along the way that may have tried to have influence in Bit’s life, but Jack was different. Jack was a friend that accepted Bit “warts and all” with plenty of messes and dysfunctional stuff that every family has…and many are afraid to admit for fear that they would be rejected. Soon after meeting with Jack on a regular basis, Bit learned what he didn’t know…God’s love and grace for him.

I once wrote a post about a rhythm of cluttered memories in their home. All of the clutter of things kept for years, each holding a special story and memory. Like the small white wooden stool that my husband’s grandfather used to sit on while fishing in a pond with his grandson, my husband.

It’s the small things that become the big things in memories.  Such as every year one of the boys or grandkids would give Pop another dancing Santa or some other animated Christmas toy that everyone found ridiculously silly  and belly laughed with each flip of the switch to make it light up or dance or make a rude noise or say words that only boys could appreciate. Last week, one of the sons bought a new Santa toy, expecting Pop to laugh one more time. Batteries were never put in so it was never turned on and never danced, but it was left in a memorable place.

In Memory of Pop

In Memory of Pop

It’s also the big things of God using small happenings in the heart of Bit that will leave an etched memory, too.  I began to notice a God size change in the life of Pop (that’s what I liked to call him) when he would drive with his wife more than an hour every Sunday morning to hear Jack preach and to be with new friends in this church community. He started reading the bible every day, too. I noticed his consistency and daily routine to have a personal devotion first thing in the morning before breakfast was served and there was no more coffee in the pot.

For that precious saint of a wife and caregiver for years, the first night alone could possibly be the hardest following the death of her spouse, after living together for nearly 69 years. But I suspect it will be living alone through the months and maybe years that will bring back the small things, those memories, once forgotten and buried by time, to the surface to be relived and clasped tightly to.

God is in all of that. She has been a giver for so many years and humbly kept going by the grace of God. He will forever keep pouring more grace into her life.

I think this quote by Ann Voskamp (A Holy Experience) is a wonderful closure for this story. We are experiencing abundant joy and wonderful peace this Christmas season.

“He did not abandon you in the ultimate storm of your soul. He will not abandon you in the immediate storm of your now.” -Ann Voskamp

Hope in the Season of Advent

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Advent 2

I lift up my eyes to the hills, from where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord. Psalm 121

How I love the season of Advent! I love preparing to celebrate Christmas with my family. The delicious smell of sugar cookies and cinnamon rolls hot out of the oven and everyone wanting to be the first to sample a cookie or unroll a cinnamon bun dripping with gooey sweet icing.

I love to light candles around our advent wreath, celebrating the promises of God, and to see the glow of tea lights shimmering through colored glass. One of my favorite activities of Christmas past was decorating ginger bread houses with my children. I remember their giggles and delight with decorating a gingerbread house and displaying it as a center piece on the dining room table, nibbled on everyday so that by the end of Christmas, the only thing remaining were pieces of broken gingerbread. I remember one year when a few of us volunteering in children’s ministry at our church decided to plan a Gingerbread House party for the kids attending a mid-week program. I don’t know what we were thinking! We were amazed and delightfully overwhelmed by the number of kids that came…maybe 80 or more! The gingerbread houses turned quickly into gingerbread huts constructed with four graham crackers, with each cracker glued to a side of a small milk carton, with that wonderful white sticky miracle icing that would chip a tooth if you took a bite of it once it dried and hardened. It was a crazy wonderful messy event with every child proudly carrying their creation home on a small plastic plate…each hut covered in colorful skittles, cinnamon drops, sprinkles, licorice twists and sugared gumdrops, soon to become a center piece on their kitchen table.

Ah, the sweet memories of Christmas past! We are creating new memories this year, even through topsy-turvy unexpected life changing events. There is some unrest, unknowns and a lot of “what ifs” trying to rob our first love of focusing on God’s promise that we have been rescued from fear and doubt and so much more than that!

How we delight in the promises of God, asking for his help to focus our hearts on the fulfilled expectation of Christ’s first coming and the glorious expectation of His second coming. God made a promise to rescue us and he keeps it perfectly…confirmed the promise by his oath. God’s unchangeable character is guaranteed by his promise and his oath. It is impossible for God to lie. We pray for his help to find refuge and a strong encouragement to hold fast to this hope. We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of our soul. (Hebrews 6)

There is great hope in the season of advent! God wants you to have the full assurance of hope—no weak and flimsy hope, but a strong, full, confident hope—lest you become “sluggish” or “dull” and begin to think that the Christian hope is not as real as the hopes offered by the world.

And God intrudes in our story. He is making all things new. He has made all things new. Even though our tummies aren’t filled with sugar cookies, we are filled with the forever sweetness of God’s grace that pours over us regardless of the condition of our heart. On the outside, we may resemble a lopsided and pasted together gingerbread hut but we are securely held tight on a strong foundation built on God’s promises.

Before they left the garden, God whispered a promise to Adam and Eve: “It will not always be so! I will come to rescue you! And when I do, I’m going to do battle against the snake. I’ll get rid of the sin and the dark and the sadness you let in here. I’m coming back for you!” And he would. One day, God himself would come. (The Jesus Storybook Bible)

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given;
and the government shall be upon his shoulder,
and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. (Isaiah 9:6) 

Our help comes from the Lord! This is our hope in the season of advent! Merry Christmas!

How to Pray When Words Won’t Come: A Prayer for the Philippines

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Photo from Associated Press

Photo from Associated Press

The following is a prayer written by a friend of mine, living in the Philippines. Along with Melody, her family and many others, I am praying this prayer for them. Will you join us?

In Melody’s words: “With unprecedented force, Haiyan is possibly the most powerful typhoon ever recorded… ever. The full impact is still being revealed, but thousands were killed and many towns and villages decimated. We were spared here in Manila, but our hearts grieve with this country. “

Photo from Melody

Photo from Melody

Melody’s Prayer

I hardly know how to pray, Lord, for faces (seen and unseen) whose names I do not know. But You know every one, see their need, understand their sorrow. Help me to pray.

I hardly know how to grieve, Lord, for all the lives lost and all the lives never the same. But You, Lord, grieved with Mary and Martha even when you knew resurrection was just around the corner. You know and care deeply about the pain in every heart. So help me to grieve, Lord — with You, with this nation, and with each heart that bleeds.

I hardly know what to do, Lord, when what is needed most is in the hands of other people. Resources, coordination, infrastructure to deliver relief assistance. But You, Lord, know exactly what is needed, and when, and by whom. Help me to do what is mine to do, and pray for others as they do what is theirs to do.

Lord of impossible resurrections, please cause Your kingdom to come and Your will to be done amid this chaos. Pour Your mighty strength into and through Your servants (those who know they serve You, and those who don’t), that they may serve the hurting in Your name even as they themselves are hurting, too. And give all of us strength and commitment to keep doing our part — praying, giving, caring in the name of the One who first cared for us.

In Jesus name,

Amen.

“Thanks so much for your prayers with us. I imagine the incense rising before the Throne, and believe our loving Father is moved by the heartfelt cries of His children that echo His own heart desire to touch and comfort the victims of this disaster.” –Melody

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Mission to the World Global Disaster Response

A way you can help In response to this disaster: http://www.mtw.org/Pages/Disasterphilippines.aspx

A Prayer for More Grace

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A Prayer for More Grace

“He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us. But he gives more grace…”  James 4: 5, 6.

Gracious Father, It’s hard for me to believe that you are jealous over us, desiring that we worship you more than anything else. You are jealous for our love and affection because you are consistent with your love.

You cannot love us any more than you already do and you will never love us any less.

Heavenly Father, you have given us the Holy Spirit to dwell within us. You promised never to leave us or forget about us. With an everlasting love you have compassion on us, for you are our Redeemer. (Isaiah 54:8)

Please, Lord help me to worship you in spirit and in truth. I don’t understand how to truly worship you. Please change my heart to learn.  Please keep my heart from growing dull and my ears from barely hearing the Holy Spirit’s guidance.  Father, I pray that You would open my eyes to your truth and in so doing, I will turn to you and be healed. I need more grace. ( James 4:6, Isaiah 6: 9, 10)

Gracious God, you are the giver of grace. You have rescued me with your grace.  Please, Heavenly Father, give more grace to love you more.

I submit to you as my Prophet, Priest, and King. You are our wisdom, our righteousness, our holiness and our redemption from God (1 Corinthians 1:30) With the eye of faith, I set my gaze on you, the author and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2)

In Jesus name, I pray. Amen

A Living Hope is a Confident Expectation That God is Good

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Isla at the Gate

God is good all of the time. All of the time God is good.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope…I Peter 1:3

Like the stars in the sky, there is no variation in God’s character. He is infinitely good. He is fixed in his divine nature and character. Because God is good, God can only give what is good, even sometimes when wrapped in harsh packages like trials, because ultimately we know in the midst of it God is working something out in these trials.

He’s seeking to produce in us something we could not produce on our own, and that is a maturity…a steadfastness, a sense of weaning ourselves from our own self-reliance so we can cling to Christ for his sufficiency in all things; that we’d get more of Christ in the midst of this so that the power of God would be manifest in our weakness. [1]  (“…rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials…1 Peter 1: 6-7)

My prayer today has been, “Lord, I believe but help my unbelief and my heart to see that you are good all of the time. Heal and free me from my unbelief. Believing that you really want us, desire us, and enjoy us is almost too much to take in. That you have caused us to be born into a living hope…to an inheritance that is imperishable. The fact that you love us with an everlasting love and lavish more and more grace upon us seems impossible, and tragically, at times not enough. When I am distracted, deceived, and drawn away from the wonders of your love and forget this living hope and your goodness, everything else is affected. Help me to love you more with unfettered abandon, to treasure this living hope, to be thankful–with a confident expectation that you are good all of the time.”

A living hope is a confident expectation that God is good.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, 5 who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. 6 In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, 7 so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.  (I Peter 1:3-8 ESV)

[1] Our Hope in Trials: Shea Sumlin;  http://www.thevillagechurch.net/sermon/our-hope-in-trials/

Living A Better Story

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A Better Story

I recently returned from a glorious week at the beach with my family. There is nothing better than waking up when the sky is dark to wait for the sun to paint the colors of a brand new day. With a flashlight in one hand and the palm of a three-year old in the other hand…we walk together down to the shore. She shines the light on the waves splashing our feet as the sun begins to peek over the horizon to swallow the darkness. We shield our eyes and we say, “God is good. He is good. He is good!”

Experiencing God’s goodness with a three-year old holding a flashlight makes for a better story.

I’ve been creating and writing my storyline…a timeline of my life thus far, mapped out with dates and a few words describing significant events and memories. Spilling those words onto paper has stirred my emotions like ocean waves rolling in, rising and falling till it meets the sandy shore, only to begin again. I wipe away tears of joy and taste the saltiness of regret and sadness…and hope for a better story.

A living hope is needed to get through life and endure suffering. A living hope enables a better story of both sorrow and joy. This living hope is an inheritance achieved for us by Christ. (a living hope…1 Peter 1: 3 ESV) [1]

Writing my storyline has been a challenging exercise, yet beneficial because it has forced me to unpack a trunk full of tattered and worn out memories…some that I’ve tried to patch-up or forget with a quick fix of self-medication. I find it easier to put messy things that aren’t very pleasant in an “out of sight–out of mind” place.

Writing a better story has the power to change us. It tells us we must change and it tells us how we must change. We learn from our lines in the script. The gospel of grace does that.

Of course, my storyline begins with the day I was born and that date is marked with an image of a rock. There are many rocks–stones marking light-hearted and significant events on my storyline but the first image of a boulder was placed on the date of my ninth birthday…the beginning of a remarkable deeper story of learning what it means to be rescued. [2]

A storyline with God as the rescuer is a better story.

We all have a story…a story worth remembering…a story worth passing on. A better story is to preserve knowledge and a legacy of God’s goodness over many generations. I chose to use stones or a boulder as a visual reminder of pivotal moments that are life changing and undeniably God working. There are many references about stones in the bible. For example, Joshua’s pile of stones is a story prompt, by which a new generation could understand the power of God. [3] [4] For me to live a better story is to take all of those stones and boulders—chiseled, hammered, cut and etched with scars—and learn from the tears, celebrate the joy, and never forget that my human heart is so hard like a stone, so self-absorbed, so filled with anger and self-pity and pride, that nothing but God’s power can cut it, change it.  [5]

Living a better story is to belong in God’s storyline…this is a very good story!

What is your story? How are you living a better story?

Footnotes

Remembering the story of a nine year old child:  “God doesn’t dress you in dirty clothes”

[1] Our Living Hope, 1 Peter 1:3-5  |  [2] Living Stones, Peter 2: 4-52  |  [3] Joshua 4  | [4]  Our Cornerstone, Peter 2: 6-8  |  [5] The Alter, Tim Keller

To Treasure This Red

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RED

The sky burns red the glory of God yet is just a flicker of a glow of His majesty and power and humbleness. Oh, to be brave and steely as the three with faith and resolve to embrace those shackles without fear of the fire. They are rescued by grace, refined by the fire.

When facing the furnace of the refiners fire, He sweats drops of red while I sleep, yet I whimper and cower when the rooster crows because I’ve grown accustomed to taking lightly this treasure of red.

To wake up early to see the sunrise and stay awake to watch the sun go to sleep. The fire in the sky is a safe place to find comfort but it stirs a longing. I want to feel the red in my soul that longs for more of the refiner’s fire. To be made pure but not consumed. Not destroyed. Refined by grace.